It's like riding a bike

When we are faced with a situation that we have faced before, we have developed some of the skills to handle a similar situation. When we are working with a particular task or planning that we have encountered many times, it may be something that’s hard to forget. This reminds me of the old phrase, “it’s like riding a bike!” For someone who has the experience, this is comforting. For someone who is novice to a field, it feels wholly unhelpful.

Last month, my six year old daughter started riding her bike without training wheels. The process to get to this point took a lot of time, patience, effort, willingness, and an “a-ha!” moment. Sometimes I felt like she lacked the interest to learn and that it just would never happen. The process of going from a balance bike to a bike with training wheels to a bike without training wheels was so interesting to me; it reminded me a lot of the process for a lot of clients to approach and work with an attorney on a well-thought out and comprehensive plan.

Many things in life require steps to learn and progress, whether it’s a physical or mental exercise. It can take some time to even decide that you want to start this new activity. Take biking as an example; likely speaking, people become aware of biking as a mode of transportation or a recreational activity because they saw others biking or because they heard about others enjoying the sport. With services that require the assistance of a professional, typically, people are exposed to these by friends or family who bring up their own experiences or they have read about these services somewhere. With this first exposure to a new field, one’s interest may be piqued, but it may not be enough for someone to act upon it.

At some point, you may decide that it’d be interesting to learn more about biking. Nowadays, this may mean going online to look at YouTube videos, using a search engine to look up articles, and asking trusted friends about how to get started. With professional services, people may also be using internet resources and personal relations to get more acquainted with the field, seeing if they are ready to pursue the service.

When my daughter was a toddler, we got her a balance bike to learn how to walk with a bike and stay stable. She didn’t have much interest in it, even though we were told that learning with a balance bike could be more effective and a smoother transition to biking than learning with a bike that had training wheels. For my daughter though, she was more excited about a bike with training wheels and wanted to practice with this. The training wheels gave her a sense of security, knowing that unless she really pushed her limits, the training wheels would keep her from falling.

My daughter then became very dependent on the training wheels and when gifted a hand me down bike that didn’t have training wheels, she was very resistant to trying it. She had grown used to the security of the training wheels and it was scary to let go. It took us time practicing with her walking her bike, with my holding her handlebars and guiding her, then her dad lightly holding her while she practiced on the bike so she could start feeling confident. Finally, one day, she said that she wanted to ride her bike on her own and then she just started doing it. When we had given her the time, resources, and support in the process, she was able to do what worked for her. If we had pushed her too soon, she may have gotten too discouraged. If we hadn’t taken the steps to guide her so she could work on the skills she needed and gain confidence, she likely wouldn’t have had that sense of independence.

Each person’s needs and comfort levels are so different so their process of approaching a new skill or a new task can be very different. The one thing that most people have in common is that they need to have the initiative and the interest to approach the activity so they have the will to continue; they cannot be forced to do something that they do not want to do. When they have reached that level of interest in learning, it makes a world of difference if the resources and support are there in the process. It immensely helped my daughter to have parents who are experienced bikers give her advice, answer her questions, and help her at each step and stride of the way. Similarly with Estate Planning, most people seeking these services do not have experience with the field. When clients have an attorney who is willing to take the time to ask them questions, answer their questions, and guide them so that the clients have a thorough plan that addresses their short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals, they are more confident that their plan fits their family’s needs and will work as intended.

When you are new to it, the process of learning to ride a bike can be daunting, take time, and also require you to get help from others to ensure you are learning good safety habits. When you have learned it well, you are equipped to continue riding and guide others to the resources they need to get started. With Estate Planning, we don’t expect our clients to have experience or exposure. In fact, sometimes people come into the process having faulty misconceptions and misinformation that they got from others who may have misheard well-intentioned information. With the experience I’ve gotten from law school, becoming an attorney ten years ago, working with clients on their first Estate Plans, working with clients who had previous Estate Plans that they didn’t understand or that otherwise needed updating, and helping clients whose family members passed and needed their trust administered, I have been able to work with families to create customized plans and stay in touch with them long term to ensure their assets and plan still coordinate as intended.

If you’re just getting started with something new, please don’t feel bad if it’s taken longer than you’ve liked to get going. The best thing you can do is have patience, seek competent and compassionate professionals, and take the time to make sure you’re thoroughly accomplishing your goals.